'google658fd05d77029796.html' College Life: The Bunk Episode | The Original Poetry

GSVM Medical College, Kanpur  (My College)

Tragedy of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow. I completely agree with this line of thought. It is due to an incident or rather accident that I had during my early college days. We (me and my friends) remember it with a bunch of laughs now. It is amazing how we (humans) are blessed with the ability to laugh at most embarrassing and ugliest experiences of our life.

This is the first and one of the many accidents that I had to face during my college life. The incident dates back to october 2003. We were only about two months old in the college (GSVM Medical College is one of the oldest and biggest colleges of India). It was collectively decided by our batch to go on a six day mass bunk. Of course boys played a major role in initiation, preparation and scheduling of the bunk plan, but girls agreed anyway after initial hesitations and arguments. All of us happily left for our respective homes after surviving initial ragging period. All is well till now. No problems whatsoever.

                         Six Days Later

Me and my friend (Sunil Chaudhary) headed to the college on the scheduled day of resumption of college. We were very nervous. We did not know what would be the response of college administration on bunk issue? How many students will come on first day after bunk? We had no answers to these questions but we could feel a terror vibe in the subconscious (call it premonition or common sense). But the kind of sincere students that we are (self praise isn't that bad a thing!), we decided to go anyway.

                         College Campus

We entered the college campus, uncertain and unaware of what is in store for us. As we were about to reach the lecture theatre, a blue coloured fiat ambassador stopped nearby us. We spontaneously recognised the car as it was the oldest sample of vehicle you will ever see around. It belonged to our Physiology Professor and HOD (Head of Department) Dr. Gangopadhyay (name changed). He must have inherited that car from the British! He was a very strict, well dressed and conventional man. He used to teach us about endocrine system, sexual functions and most importantly, LIBIDO (this word came thousand times during his lectures). His ideas always intrigued us. Sometimes they were funny to us but nobody used to laugh as he was super strict and very very traditional. To tell you more about him, let me take you to a small flashback. 

                          The Flashback

He once asked the class. 

What are the possible methods of contraception? 

As we were a smart batch, answers poured in from all quarters of the class. 
Contraceptive pills, condoms, intra uterine devices (eg. copper-T), safe period method, abstinence, etc. Class came up with all the possible answers but he wasn't completely satisfied yet.

And the genius (Professor) replied after we gave up - She may not be married? Her husband may be away due to work?

We wondered if these things are supposed to be considered in a medical class.We even wondered if these were full proof method of not getting pregnant! I mean a girl can get pregnant without being married. But as I told you, he was a very conventional man and a very strict one at that.

                         The Namaste Curse

Coming back to the fiat car, Sunil told me not to greet him so that he cannot recognize us as first year students. I readily agreed. As he passed by us, he kept staring with his big, intense eyes. I didn't respond to his stare initially but as his stare got meaner and meaner, two heavenly words fell of my mouth spontaneously - Namaste Sir

He was kind of obsessed with Namaste. Even if you do namaste to him 500 meters from the back of his moving car, he would watch you from the rear mirror and his right hand would come out in a God like fashion to bless his well cultured disciple! That's what happened in this case.

He gave nod to my greeting and moved ahead. We breathed easily as he didn't say anything. 

Sunil immediately shouted - Why did you greet him? 
He was staring at me like anything and it came out spontaneously, I replied.
We decided to go to the class anyway.

                           The Class  

As we entered the class, we saw that there are about 40 girls out there and no boys (batch strength is 200). We talked to girls about things like what to do and what is going to happen. 
As we were talking to them, Professor Gangopadhyay entered the class (as first lecture was of Physiology).

"What the.." , we said silently looking at each other and started running towards the back door.

Stop there!!! (there came the loud and villainous voice of Professor Gangopadhyay)

My friend freezed immediately but I managed to escape. I was waiting anxiously for Sunil outside  the lecture theatre. 
He came and said- Sir tujhe bula rahe hain (He is calling you upstairs).
I had no choice (as he had seen us earlier) but to enter the cave of a hungry lion without any protective gears. 

                          The Classic Insult

One furious Professor, 40 unassuming girls and two guilty boys with their heads as down as their morale. Stage was set for a classic insult. But it happened in the strangest way possible.

Proffesor- How dare you run from my class? (He said in aggressive tone)

There is little I could say, so I maintained a pin drop silence and an innocent face hoping that it would work.

Professor (pointing at me)- I saw you outside. Am I right?

Yes Sir, I replied in barely audible voice.

Professor - You were not willing to say namaste but said so when I stared at you.

Me - No Sir, I was about to say namaste (I argued).

Professor - Shut up. Don't lie to me. There was another boy with you who did not say namaste to me at all. Who was the other  boy?

Me (pointing to Sunil) - Sir, I was with him. (I could hear his heart beat as I said so but I was left with little choice)

Professor (to Sunil) - Were you with him?

Sunil - Yes Sir, but I said namaste to you

Professor - Bilkul, isne namaste kiya tha (Definitely, he said namaste to me). 
I am asking who was the other boy who did not say namaste? (he returned his focus to me)

Me - Sir, I was with him. (I repeated)

He again looked at Sunil.

Sunil - Sir, maine to namaste kiya tha (Sir I said namaste to you).

Bilkul (definitely), he replied confidently. And this way he kept asking me about the boy who did not say namaste. I did not know what to say and where to get that second boy from. 

The problem was -
1. He was sure that Sunil said namaste.
2. He was sure that there were only two boys.
3. He was sure that I said namaste after a delay.
4. He was sure that there was a boy who did not say namaste.

I did not know how to fit all this data into one integrated story. I was short of explanations and he was full of confusions. The result was.. Well, he molested me (verbally of course) for 45 minutes in front of the class. He said thousand things to scold me like, "tum mujhe bahut khurapaati lagte ho" (you look a clever and mean boy to me), "I am three times your age and you are trying to fool me". He looked much younger to me as his dye matched with his hair perfectly. But that wasn't my prime concern of course! 

He kept scolding me over the namaste issue. I thought the bunk issue will be the main issue as we came to the college. But, not anymore.

That day remain etched in my memory as one of the memorable days of my college life. We remember it often with a laugh. We still wonder why Dr. Gangopadhyay got confused over the simplest question he would have ever faced. Its a sweet memory now. I guess that's what college life is all about.

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17 Responses so far.

  1. This is a real incident from my college life. Hope you guys enjoy it.

  2. Sorry , Namaste Dr. Gangopadhyay, That boy was me who didn't tell namaste.

    LOL just joking . nice story.

  3. hahaha........so you didn't get scolded for mass bunk,but got scolded nevertheless! I know one of my aunts who as fussy about touching her feet as your professor! Enjoyed!!

  4. Presentation is nice....its really funny...
    such things have happened with me as well...n u r right in saying that embarassing moments of the past do make us laugh today!

  5. Anjan Roy says:

    good one...yes the moments of college life are very precious...no matter whatever our state was when we faced them...but we do greet those memories with laugh nowadays...

    i too have many such memories of my College life...!!!

  6. AmitAag says:

    Ha ha ha:) Hilarious indeed! ...loved it:):D

  7. it was me ..jisne namaste nai kee...but deepak u missd one incidence...when u wished him...i thought meri to lag gayi...abke physio mein suuply pakka..he was staring me..trying to click my photo with his 60 mp eyes but m sorry for him ...he didnt have memory card...at that time i wished him...hath jodkar namaste sir...and thats why he said in class isne to namste ki thi...but fhe forgot the firsy sunil...ha haa...now its a joke...but that was.....

  8. nice presentation...loved it...purani yaad taaza ho gayi...

  9. sahi kaha dost.. its a really wonderful memory.. i forgot that small detail but the theme of the story still remains the same.. sweet college days

  10. Hello Amit ji.. I am really glad you loved it.. its a sweet memory of mine..

  11. This is witnessed by most of the college students...good one..

  12. Sri Valli says:

    Hahahhahahah!! super entertaining post!! enjoyed reading it!!
    Miss those days really :/

  13. Loved it! Specially the four points of what the problem was and your inability to fit that data into one integrated story :D
    Keep 'em coming :)

  14. Shreya says:

    Ah memories of college life. Nostalgic.

  15. the problem part was damn funny. Enjoyed the hilarity. :)

  16. That was awestriking. I was reading your works, and I thought you deserve it.


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