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| GSVM Medical College, Kanpur (My College) |
Tragedy of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow.
I completely agree with this line of thought. It is due to an incident or
rather accident that I had during my early college days. We (me and my friends)
remember it with a bunch of laughs now. It is amazing how we (humans) are
blessed with the ability to laugh at most embarrassing and ugliest experiences
of our life.
This is the first and one of the many accidents that I had to face
during my college life. The incident dates back to october 2003. We were only
about two months old in the college (GSVM Medical College is one of the oldest
and biggest colleges of India). It was collectively decided by our batch to go
on a six day mass bunk. Of course boys played a major role in initiation,
preparation and scheduling of the bunk plan, but girls agreed anyway after
initial hesitations and arguments. All of us happily left for our respective
homes after surviving initial ragging period. All is well till now. No problems
whatsoever.
Six Days Later
Me and my friend (Sunil Chaudhary) headed to the college on the
scheduled day of resumption of college. We were very nervous. We did not know
what would be the response of college administration on bunk issue? How many
students will come on first day after bunk? We had no answers to these
questions but we could feel a terror vibe in the subconscious (call it
premonition or common sense). But the kind of sincere students that we are
(self praise isn't that bad a thing!), we decided to go anyway.
College Campus
We entered the college campus, uncertain and unaware of what is in
store for us. As we were about to reach the lecture theatre, a blue coloured
fiat ambassador stopped nearby us. We spontaneously recognised the car as it
was the oldest sample of vehicle you will ever see around. It belonged to our
Physiology Professor and HOD (Head of Department) Dr. Gangopadhyay (name
changed). He must have inherited that car from the British! He was a very
strict, well dressed and conventional man. He used to teach us about endocrine
system, sexual functions and most importantly, LIBIDO (this word came thousand
times during his lectures). His ideas always intrigued us. Sometimes they were
funny to us but nobody used to laugh as he was super strict and very very
traditional. To tell you more about him, let me take you to a small
flashback.
The Flashback
He once asked the class.
What are the possible methods of
contraception?
As we were a smart batch, answers poured in from all quarters of
the class.
Contraceptive pills, condoms, intra uterine devices (eg. copper-T),
safe period method, abstinence, etc. Class came up with all the possible
answers but he wasn't completely satisfied yet.
And the genius (Professor) replied after we gave up - She may not
be married? Her husband may be away due to work?
We wondered if these things are supposed to be considered in a
medical class.We even wondered if these were full proof method of not getting
pregnant! I mean a girl can get pregnant without being married. But as I told you, he was a very conventional man and a very strict
one at that.
The Namaste Curse
Coming back to the fiat car, Sunil told me not to greet him so
that he cannot recognize us as first year students. I readily agreed. As he
passed by us, he kept staring with his big, intense eyes. I didn't respond to
his stare initially but as his stare got meaner and meaner, two heavenly words
fell of my mouth spontaneously - Namaste Sir!
He was kind of obsessed with Namaste. Even if you do namaste to
him 500 meters from the back of his moving car, he would watch you from the rear
mirror and his right hand would come out in a God like fashion to bless his
well cultured disciple! That's what happened in this case.
He gave nod to my greeting and moved ahead. We breathed easily as
he didn't say anything.
Sunil immediately shouted - Why did you greet
him?
He was staring at me like anything and it came out spontaneously,
I replied.
We decided to go to the class anyway.
The Class
As we entered the class, we saw that there are about 40 girls out
there and no boys (batch strength is 200). We talked to girls about things like
what to do and what is going to happen.
As we were talking to them, Professor
Gangopadhyay entered the class (as first lecture was of Physiology).
"What the.." , we said silently looking at each other and started
running towards the back door.
Stop there!!! (there came the loud and villainous voice of
Professor Gangopadhyay)
My friend freezed immediately but I managed to escape. I was
waiting anxiously for Sunil outside the lecture theatre.
He came and said- Sir tujhe bula rahe hain (He is calling you
upstairs).
I had no choice (as he had seen us earlier) but to enter the cave
of a hungry lion without any protective gears.
The Classic Insult
One furious Professor, 40 unassuming girls and two guilty boys
with their heads as down as their morale. Stage was set for a classic insult.
But it happened in the strangest way possible.
Proffesor- How dare you run from my class? (He said in aggressive
tone)
There is little I could say, so I maintained a pin drop silence
and an innocent face hoping that it would work.
Professor (pointing at me)- I saw you outside. Am I right?
Yes Sir, I replied in barely audible voice.
Professor - You were not willing to say namaste but said so when I
stared at you.
Me - No Sir, I was about to say namaste (I argued).
Professor - Shut up. Don't lie to me. There was another boy with
you who did not say namaste to me at all. Who was the other boy?
Me (pointing to Sunil) - Sir, I was with him. (I could hear his
heart beat as I said so but I was left with little choice)
Professor (to Sunil) - Were you with him?
Sunil - Yes Sir, but I said namaste to you.
Professor - Bilkul, isne namaste kiya tha (Definitely, he said
namaste to me).
I am asking who was the other boy who did not say namaste? (he returned his focus to me)
I am asking who was the other boy who did not say namaste? (he returned his focus to me)
Me - Sir, I was with him. (I repeated)
He again looked at Sunil.
Sunil - Sir, maine to namaste kiya tha (Sir I
said namaste to you).
Bilkul (definitely), he replied confidently. And this way he kept asking
me about the boy who did not say namaste. I did not know what to say and where
to get that second boy from.
The problem was -
1. He was sure that Sunil said namaste.
2. He was sure that there were only two boys.
3. He was sure that I said namaste after a delay.
4. He was sure that there was a boy who did not say namaste.
I did not know how to fit all this data into one integrated story.
I was short of explanations and he was full of confusions. The result was..
Well, he molested me (verbally of course) for 45 minutes in front of the class.
He said thousand things to scold me like, "tum mujhe bahut khurapaati
lagte ho" (you look a clever and mean boy to me), "I am three times
your age and you are trying to fool me". He looked much younger to me as his dye
matched with his hair perfectly. But that wasn't my prime concern of
course!
He kept scolding me over the namaste issue. I thought the bunk
issue will be the main issue as we came to the college. But, not anymore.
That day remain etched in my memory as one of the memorable days
of my college life. We remember it often with a laugh. We still wonder why Dr.
Gangopadhyay got confused over the simplest question he would have ever faced.
Its a sweet memory now. I guess that's what college life is all about.
Also Read..
Categories:
Short Story
This is a real incident from my college life. Hope you guys enjoy it.
Sorry , Namaste Dr. Gangopadhyay, That boy was me who didn't tell namaste.
LOL just joking . nice story.
hahaha........so you didn't get scolded for mass bunk,but got scolded nevertheless! I know one of my aunts who as fussy about touching her feet as your professor! Enjoyed!!
Presentation is nice....its really funny...
such things have happened with me as well...n u r right in saying that embarassing moments of the past do make us laugh today!
good one...yes the moments of college life are very precious...no matter whatever our state was when we faced them...but we do greet those memories with laugh nowadays...
i too have many such memories of my College life...!!!
Ha ha ha:) Hilarious indeed! ...loved it:):D
it was me ..jisne namaste nai kee...but deepak u missd one incidence...when u wished him...i thought meri to lag gayi...abke physio mein suuply pakka..he was staring me..trying to click my photo with his 60 mp eyes but m sorry for him ...he didnt have memory card...at that time i wished him...hath jodkar namaste sir...and thats why he said in class isne to namste ki thi...but fhe forgot the firsy sunil...ha haa...now its a joke...but that was.....
nice presentation...loved it...purani yaad taaza ho gayi...
sahi kaha dost.. its a really wonderful memory.. i forgot that small detail but the theme of the story still remains the same.. sweet college days
Hello Amit ji.. I am really glad you loved it.. its a sweet memory of mine..
This is witnessed by most of the college students...good one..
Hahahhahahah!! super entertaining post!! enjoyed reading it!!
Miss those days really :/
Loved it! Specially the four points of what the problem was and your inability to fit that data into one integrated story :D
Keep 'em coming :)
Ah memories of college life. Nostalgic.
the problem part was damn funny. Enjoyed the hilarity. :)
That was awestriking. I was reading your works, and I thought you deserve it.
http://obscurewrits.blogspot.in/2013/11/awarded.html