Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
― Fletcher Knebel
If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
― Clint
Eastwood
Always borrow money from a
pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
― Oscar Wilde
I love deadlines. I like the
whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
― Douglas Adams
― Douglas Adams
Be nice to nerds. Chances are
you’ll end up working with one.
― Bill Gates
― Bill Gates
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing
a lot.
― Groucho
Marx
Always go to other people's
funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
― Yogi Berra
― Yogi Berra
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school
student. At least they can find Kuwait.
― A. Whitney Brown
― A. Whitney Brown
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get
out of it alive.
― Elbert
Hubbard
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to
water them.
― Mitch
Hedberg
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going
to have a disease named after me.
― Steve Martin
― Steve Martin
I asked God for a bike, but I
know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
― Emo Philips
― Emo Philips
A bank is a place that will
lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
― Bob Hope
― Bob Hope
My
mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
― Jack Nicholson
― Jack Nicholson
All generalizations are false, including this one.
― Mark
Twain
The
human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born,
and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
― George Jessel
― George Jessel
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as
funny as possible.
― David
Ogilvy
Categories:
Quotes
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
― George Jessel
I cldn't agree more.. :/