'google658fd05d77029796.html' Amusing Quotes | The Original Poetry

First the doctor told me the good news; I was going to have a disease named after me.
     - Steve Martin

I have never killed a man. But I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
     - Clarence Darrow

Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.
- Anon

I never think of future; it comes soon enough.
     - Albert Einstein

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat.
     - Jim Davis

The trouble with unemployment is the minute you wake up in the morning you're on a job.
- Slappy White

Housework can't kill you. But why take a chance.
    - Phyllis Diller

A good dog is a bad dog.
     - Anonymous

First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
     - George Bernard Shaw

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
     - Wayne Gretzky

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
- Anonymous

The trouble with learning from experience is you never graduate.
     - Doug Larson

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy just to be normal.
     - Albert Camus

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
     - Foe Ancis

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
     - W.C. Fields

History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
     - Winston Churchill

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent in writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.
     - Robert Benchley


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