A wedding is just like a funeral except you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
- Grace Hansen
Why is it when we talk to God, we are praying, but when God talks to us, we are schizophrenic.
- Lily Tomlin
- Lily Tomlin
Behind every successful man, stands a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
- Brooks Hays
- Brooks Hays
Of
all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
― Mark Twain
― Mark Twain
Normal people with normal problems can be hilarious.
- Tommy Lee Jones
- Tommy Lee Jones
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in
the dark with a mosquito.
― Betty Reese
― Betty Reese
I'm single by choice.
Not my choice.
― Orny Adams
― Orny Adams
I'm
astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around chinatown.
― Woody Allen
― Woody Allen
Silence
is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
― Bob Monkhouse
― Bob Monkhouse
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
― Henny Youngman
― Henny Youngman
The
conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
― Arthur Bloc
― Arthur Bloc
If
love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
― Unknown Author
― Unknown Author
You
know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you are down there.
― George Burns
― George Burns
One
of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
― Rita Mae Brown
― Rita Mae Brown
I
used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
― Les Dawson
― Les Dawson
I
am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate
plants.
― A. Whitney Brown
― A. Whitney Brown
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
― Quentin Crisp
― Quentin Crisp
I
always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more
specific.
― Lily Tomlin
― Lily Tomlin
The
main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.
― German Proverb
― German Proverb
I
never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
― Groucho Marx
― Groucho Marx
Love
is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
― Ambrose Bierce
― Ambrose Bierce
The
road to success is always under construction.
― Arnold Palmer
― Arnold Palmer
No,
I don't have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
― Ashleigh Brilliant
― Ashleigh Brilliant
Categories:
Quotes
NYC quotes..worth reading..thanx for writing..I agree with Rita Mae brown;-)